Love Lifted Me

The past few days Ive been really drawn to this song and even though Ive heard it a thousand times, it stuck out to me today more than it ever has before and it really spoke to my heart. the verse lyrics completely shout right in my face, and get at me super hard. no matter whats seen of me, or whats spoke of me. i have grace and A real Unconditional love. #godlysorrow #godlyrepentence

Words could never say the way

He says my name He calls me lovely  

No one ever sees the way

He looks at me He sees me holy

  Words could never hold

this love that burns my soul

Heaven holds me, oh heaven holds me.

I can’t hold my love back from You

  I can’t hold my love back from You

  I’ve gotta sing, I’ve gotta sing, sing my love.

You would not believe the way

He touches me He burns right through me  

And i could not forget

every word He said

  He always knew me 

The earth could never hold

this love that burns my soul

Heaven holds me oh heaven holds me.

The world was once in my hands but now its yours again. And I have seen this happen more than once before. I have looked around me over and over again looking for something beautiful. Have I found that thing that I desire?

Where were you when I was scared and all alone inside my head.

How could I not see you?
Have I been so blind?
And seen right through you all this time. Did you see me?
When I was all alone, Did I hear you whisper my name in the dark?

My life was once in my hands
But now it is yours again
And I know I have never felt like this before
The times you have found me
Over and over again
Giving me something that is beautiful
Have I found the thing that I desire…?

Where were you when I was scared and all alone inside my head?

Have I been stuck here in the same place?
Have you been there all this time?
Have you been up in the clouds?
I need you to come down to me.

FIL

I woke up this morning to a knock on my front door. It was quite possibly the loudest beastly knock that you can think of. I was scared to put my hands on the door knob because my inner being was frightened to the core of what it may be. When i finally worked up the courage to open it up.i stepped up to the door and it swung open. i smelled a very sweet smell and My eyes were blurred for a second, i rubbed them to see more clearly. and there at my door mat i saw her. the most intriguing little girl, so subtle, so captivating. her big brown eyes and huge smile made me weep uncontrollably. She was wearing the most gorgeous white dress with braids and flowers in her hair. the thing that got me the most was she was barefoot and her feet looked as if she had been walking, no running for years. She looked up at me and said “Take my hand. Follow me. I need you to come with me. I have so many things to show you today.” I ran out of the house without grabbing anything. i forgot my shoes and my jacket. as i started to follow her i became more and more interested in who she was. i had NO intentions of letting go of her little hands.

First she took me to this old broken down abandoned house in the middle of no where. i was so fathomed by her that i didn’t even remember the footsteps that we took to get here. once i walked inside i went to straight to a room that was filled with every form of art that you can imagine. she ran in as fast as she could and sat in the middle of the floor with a huge smile on her face she started to paint a picture, without even finishing it she grabbed my hand and she brought me to another room. this room had old cassette tapes and records all over the walls, there were beautiful brass instruments and broken ivory piano keys laying all over the floor. Immediately she started dancing and singing as loudly as possible. no shame in her voice or her eyes. she grabbed on to the edge of her dress and twirled around in circles. I was completely astonished by every movement she made. Out of the blue she stopped singing and looked out the window as if she hear a voice. She grabbed my hand and told me to jump out of the window with her. we started running and skipping through dry tall yellow grass. she yelled out “close your eyes with me and keep running.” and so i did. i felt as if i could finally breathe out of the lungs God gave me. she was quickly becoming my best friend in the whole wide world. When i finally opened up my eyes again. it was nighttime. There were lights strung from tree to tree and it smelled as if it had just rained for hours. I looked out into the darkness and i saw a white gazebo with lights entangled in vines on it. I looked back at the little girl and she said “this is my favorite place of all” butterflies filled my stomach and literally wanted to shoot out of my mouth. she again grabbed my hand and we ran toward it. when we finally reached the gazebo she pulled me inside and i saw a mirror hanging from one of the vines. i looked down at this little girl and she said ” i need you to look inside that mirror.”  My heart started pounding and i could feel it beating through my whole body. i Stepped up to the mirror with my eyes closed and tears rolled down my cheeks. in that very moment i felt someone wrap there arms around me and whisper in my ear. “i need you to open your eyes for me.” I opened my eyes and the person staring back at me was that little girl i met this morning. and behind me i saw a lover holding me. a father. a best friend. someone who by the look of his eyes, the touch of his hand and the sound of his voice would never ever hurt me. He spinned me around slowly, took my hands and asked me to dance with him. i looked down at myself and down to the very smell and look of that little girl i resembled her in every way. in that very moment i felt as if nothing else in the world mattered. He looked at me and placed his hands over my heart and said. “this is my heart love. forever and ever. and i will always reside here.”

Proverbs 4:23

<3

Charllena Smith

‘Before the World Was Made’

IF I make the lashes dark
And the eyes more bright
And the lips more scarlet,
Or ask if all be right
From mirror after mirror,
No vanity’s displayed:
I’m looking for the face I had
Before the world was made.
What if I look upon a man
As though on my beloved,
And my blood be cold the while
And my heart unmoved?
Why should he think me cruel
Or that he is betrayed?
I’d have him love the thing that was
Before the world was made.

-William Butler Yeats

These eyes are strained and my bloody hands are constantly searching for this one i call my confidant. When i stretch out my fingers and try to stand on the nails of toes, i grasp nothing but dust. This body tells of the few moments i met with you last night. I stand before you my King, pale and marked with such colors I hate.

Ive jumped into this hand made grave more times than i should’ve had to count. And Its full of all the things I love and fear the most. I’m walking in and out of double lines and crossing into a second life. Has this place become my guilty pleasure? I stand before you my King, pale and marked with such colors I hate.

If I ever overcome this fight, all i want is your eyes in plain sight. This isnt a poem or my small ability to rhyme. But a story Ive read a thousand times. My Love please slow it down. Would you like to spell it out for me? even whisper it in my ear..

I made this bed. its time I finally lay down in it. 

From the window of my middle class home
I watch a man as he sits alone
On the dirty streets
The cardboard under his feet
Screams about all his cold nights spent alone
People pass but no one seems to notice
His empty hands hollow eyes broken soul
And his need need need for just one person to care

So which of these words will brings him comfort
Cause it’s sympathy not empathy I feel
But is it real
As I sit and watch from I suburban castle

Living a life I’ll never know
I see a man walking through the snow
For this lonely man
The picture in his hand
Are all that’s left of the life he used to know
The time goes by but no one seems to notice
His empty hands hollow eyes broken soul
And his need need need for just one person to care

And now I realize
That all of this means nothing without action
I will not just sing
I refuse to just sing songs about how hard life can be
While others lead lives that are more difficult than I can imagine
I will be a source of light in this dark world
A catalyst in this stagnant generation
I will use love to overcome this world

-Take It Back. “Hollow Eyes”

Ecclesiates 3

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for their hard work? I have seen the burden that God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so people cannot see the scope of Gods work begginning to end. So concluded, there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.

Refine me with fire. Refine me with fire, oh God. Refine me with fire.

Deuteronomy 4:24

“Ever since i was young your word is the word that always won. 

Worry and wake the ones you love.

A phone call id rather not receive.

Please use my body while i sleep.

My lungs are fresh and yours to keep,

Kept clean and they will let you breathe.”

There is a painting of a man i saw that would go out of his way just to be with his child for a second, a minute, an hour, five hours, even years but this child of his just so happens to be completely deaf and blind. This man will even sit with his child everyday and speak of what life has to offer, he will speak of how he loves the way he is, loves the way his heart beats, and how he was created just so he can solely love him. This man has spoke countless words that will go unheard.

I’ve been sitting here for the past hour or so just thinking about the things that people are actually blessed with on a daily basis, no matter how big or small they are. and i realized that we’ve been freely given a heart created by God to understand how insanely wide his love is, and Ears created by God to hear and understand all of the direction he has for us. that seems like a pretty easy concept to catch on to, but why do we absolutely deafen ourselves to the most important things God has to say, when we know what he has is the most trustworthy, and its EXACTLY what we need. and of this, I. am. completely. guilty.